blackgirlgenius (olamina) wrote,
blackgirlgenius
olamina

in the same boat





It's not getting any better or any clearer. I keep telling people I am not feeling that great. I keep getting these disappointing stock responses.

"I love you."
"Feel better."


No one's got anything sorted out. I keep waiting to hear something profound. No high expectations, but hopeful that something will kick start me again. This malaise is lastng longer than any I recall.

Today I stayed home because I was sick and I woke up unable to speak. Most days I have nothing to say to anyone I see anyway, but my job requires me to be on the phone so I stayed home. I haven't had a worthwhile conversation in days. I thrive on good conversation. Maybe I should host a chat show? Or a radio show?

I called my mother to tell her I was ready to throw my hands up. Pack up all my junk and go back to my bedroom there. No answer. Just answerphone. Left two second message. When she calls I won't want to talk any more.

I wish there were a service wherein you could pay someone to hang you outside a window holding tightly to your ankles. Cool wind whipping across your face, blood rushing to your head. I'd pay for five minutes of that.

Gotta sort something out here.

Today I had half a mind to pack a duffle bag and go somewhere but where and to whom. I don't know.
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  • 11 comments

  • much older

    Going through a stack of my old magazines, I came across this gem of a political cartoon from the October 1971 issue of Playboy.

  • transsexuals in iran documentary

    I just watched this incredibly heartbreaking documentary about transsexuality in Iran. It was even sadder than I expected it to be, but I feel…

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    Reckless was on TV again yesterday. The dance scene is incredible. Thank God someone put it on youtube.…