February 9th, 2007

advice

Love, Dating, and Resisting Hermeneutics - Part 1



Last night as I was flicking the channels, I stumbled across a BBC produced pop psychology/brain science 3-part series entitled "Secret of the Sexes". Now, I am a sucker for pop psychology especially anything about love, sex, and relationships so though I was meant to be watching something else I couldn't turn away. I decided to blog and give you a summation and observations on this series.

ATTRACTION



The first one I watched was episode #2 on attraction. In this episode, some scientists, psychologists, make up artists, and stylists were brought together to find out whether a Scientific Dating Agency could work. They tried to discern what made men and women attracted to each other and then try and mold people thus that they were able to attract their "ideal" mates. They had two main guinea pigs, one woman and one man, both in their 30s who'd had little luck dating. Through a mix of computer profiling, makeovers, and questionnaires the research group tried to mold them into what was determined to be more attractive by the larger group of men and women they'd interviewed. After they were poked and prodded all were sent off to this speed dating event where every table was equipped with a meters on either side wherein they could gauge their opinions of the people they met at the first impression, during their brief discussion, and also at the end. The researchers were testing a few things:

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My synopsis on the last episode(on Love and Relationships) synopsis here.
advice

Love, Dating and Resisting Hermeneutics - Part 2


(Part 1 here)

LOVE AND MARRIAGE


Episode 3 was about love and relationships and focused on four different couples:
Couple #1: a newlywed couple of people who'd met, fallen deeply in love, had a kid, and gotten married all in the space of a year and were still very much in love
Couple #2: a young couple who'd recently separated after the male admitted infidelity
Couple #3: a middle aged couple on the verge of a break
Couple #4: a cute old couple who'd been married for over 70 years

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So anyway, coming up next post is my big conclusions about myself.

advice

Love, Dating, and Resisting Hermeneutics - Part Final


(Part 1 here, Part 2 here)



For some reason these two programs got me to thinking about myself; in particular about the person I was as a child and the person I am now and the role stress has played in my own life. While I didn't have the worst childhood, what I remember most is a lot of upheaval and stress; my parents' fighting and eventual split when I was 4 and my little brother was 2. This was followed by my mother sorting out how to go about being a single mother to two very small children in a town where she knew few people and in a country where she had almost no relatives. Sorting out childcare solutions was really a strain on us all, though I'm sure she tried to alleviate the stress as much as possible. Because of finances, we simply couldn't do much better than being carted from one person's house to next (usually also another single mother, often a welfare receipient looking for a couple extra bucks). I remember feeling stressed every morning when we had to wake up to be shuffled off to childcare so my mom could make the early shift at the hospital. I remember waiting every afternoon for her to pick us up from afternoon daycare; waiting around for my Dad to pick us up from the hospital for his custody weekends; and COUNTLESS OTHER ANNOYING (not always transport-related) stress-inducing scenarios. I don't remember thinking as a child that this was "all for a reason", but I do recall feeling frustrated a lot, particularly when I wasn't a "natural" at something I wanted to do. The hope was always that I would emerge as a gifted bowler or singer or juggler or gymnast or something that would not only elevate me from my humdrum urban working class/ rural middle class (oh yes, we social climbed a bit) existence, but would also redeem all the stress and suffering I'd gone through. All those days of rising at the crack of dawn, choking down reconsituted government issue dry milk and No Frills Corn Flakes, and dashing out the door to get to the early morning sitter's house only to watch that lady's kids awake and go through the same ritual (except they had glorious food stamp purchased Name Brand Cereal), YES!, it was ALL WORTH IT. It was ALL LEADING TO THIS! This moment when my face would grace the Star Search championship stage/ the Olympics gymnastics finals/ NBC Today with Bryan Gumbel YES! This was where that windy tumultuous road was leading ALL ALONG! While I never expressly said it, I think I thought it...and often. So imagine my dismay 26 years in to life when none of it has materialised...
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